It's a New Season!!!

I haven't blogged in quite a while, so I thought I should share about the new adventure the Lord has me on.

In two weeks I will be moving from Eugene, Oregon where I have been for the past five years, and move to Tacoma, Washington. This is quite a new adventure. I have one good friend there, plus I'll be close to my boyfriend Hoshi and his family. The real reason though is to be near the man of my dreams!

Hoshi and I have been dating for seven months. He's just finishing his last two weeks at Lewis and Clark Law School in Portland. He decided to move back home to Tacoma once he graduates. That would take us from being two hours apart to about four hours. The plan God has for us in the future is marriage, we are just waiting for Hoshi to graduate, pass the bar exam, and find a job.

A few months ago I began praying, asking God to show me what was next in my life. I felt like my time in Eugene was coming to a close (so bittersweet) and he was leading me somewhere new. I never thought I'd be moving to Tacoma, but I happily accepted the new season. When I began praying I worried that the Lord would move me further from Hoshi, I had no clue that His plan was to move us closer.

We are so excited for this new season in our lives together. The Lord has taught us patience as we've had a long distance relationship and we're grateful that he's bringing us closer together. I know that there will be trials ahead and probably loneliness since I'm leaving my close friends, but I trust that the Lord will provide new relationships for me.

Please pray that God provides a job for me and covers me as I move to Washington:)

Peace

I know the plans I have for Lindsay, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you Lindsay will call on me and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you do it with all of your heart. You will find me and I'll bring you back from captivity!
Jeremiah 29:11-14

This is the answer that the Lord gave me. This is the peace that I stand on today:)

Fear----->Faith......Sin------>Spirit

The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the spirit is life and peace.
Romans 8:6

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the spirit of sonship and by him we cry, ABBA FATHER!
Romans 8:15

These two verses are huge for me right now. I have allowed myself to be controlled by fear and sin in the past few months. I finally realized tonight while reading that God doesn't want me to sit in this complacent spot of being afraid. He doesn't want me to be a slave to fear. He wants me to step into a place of trusting him and having complete faith that he will take care of me and for me to do that I need to step back into the power of the spirit.

So I say, Live by the spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.
Galatians 5:16

I have been really angry lately. I've allowed myself to let others hurt me and then I've chosen not to forgive them. I would never have said I was an angry person until yesterday. I was shocked when it even came out of my mouth. So, the Lord has lead me into a place of peace with him. I'm spending a lot of time just listening, praying, reading and worshiping. As the Lord has taken me away from friends right now he is teaching me to fully rely on him.

My desire is to go from a place of sin: gossip, anger, resentment, idolatry, discord, selfish ambition and dissension(Galatians 5:19-21)......to living in the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control(Galatians 5:22&23)

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the spirit, let us keep in step with the spirit.
Galatians 5:24&25

Freedom

"If you're tired and thirsty, there is freedom. Give your all to Jesus, there is freedom. Freedom reigns in this place, showers of mercy and grace, falling on every face, there is freedom."

Freedom Reigns- Jesus Culture

A couple weeks ago I went on a weekend retreat with the women from The Fathers House. I really wasn't looking forward to this retreat. I waited last minute to prepare for it and spend time seeking the Lord. I was just feeling tired and confused. The morning I left didn't go well as usual when trying to leave for a retreat (Satan loves throwing stuff at us) but I felt the peace of God when we were finally on the freeway leaving Eugene.

The first night was just fun! We had worship time, played games and laughed so hard we cried! The second day was the beginning of a new freedom.

We did what seemed to be a silly all day exercise on mapping out our lives. I wasn't really sure what the reason for the exercise was but as I began the process the Lord started speaking. I had all these colored sticky notes of good and bad names and events in my life. It was amazing to see how God brought me through each season in my life!

At the end of the night we had a chance to share our testimonies. I didn't plan on sharing for fear of judgement, but of course the Lord started speaking and I knew it was Him because it wasn't my idea:) He wanted me to share the deepest darkest secret of my past that most people know nothing about. I was so nervous but the word freedom kept coming to mind.

I shared what the Lord asked me to and while speaking I could feel this weight of fear, anxiety, judgement and shame literally lift off of me. I felt real freedom.

I now know why the Lord wanted me to share that specific part of my testimony. It wasn't about me or anyone else, it was about Him. He wanted the glory and he wanted to give me a new freedom.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."
Galatians 5:1

Exalt

Exalt:
1. To raise in rank, character or status; elevate.
2. To glorify, praise or honor.

Biblical meaning of exalt:
In Jesus' kingdom, those who exalt themselves will eventually find themselves humbled, and those that humble themselves will eventually be exalted. To be first we must be last.

As church started tonight the first two worship songs were about exalting the Lord. I began to wonder what the meaning of exalt was. So many times I throw around "christian" words and have no clue what their real meaning is. So, I googled exalt and found the definitions above. I then searched biblegateway.com for verses with exalt and there were tons. They all used the word exalt when talking about the Lord. When reading the meanings I realized exalt isn't just a word to use for anyone. Even the dictionary says glorify, praise or honor. The only person I should glorify is the Lord. I began went back to the song we sang in church tonight:

"He is exalted the king is exalted on high, I will praise him. He is exalted, forever exalted and I will praise his name. He is the Lord, forever his truth shall reign, heaven and earth, rejoice in his holy name. He is exalted the king is exalted on high."

I realized that I don't always exalt the Lord. Sometimes I get lazy and I don't speak about the Lord or talk to him in a way that exalts him (elevates, glorifies, praises, honors). And many times I find me exalting myself, and not practicing humility which is another topic the Lord has been working on me in.

So, my prayer is that I find myself exalting Jesus more, and in doing that I become humble.

Endurance

God has been talking to me a lot lately. I have been seeking him daily and it's always worth it. I just wanted to share something that I got out of journaling and reading the other day. I was having a breakdown the other night. I felt so defeated. School work was overwhelming and I ended up in my bed crying out to the Lord. It was getting really late but I knew God had work to do on me. I was honestly ready to quit school. The devil kept feeding me lies and I felt like I had no energy left to fight. After a long cry session on the phone with my mom, the Lord gave me peace. The next morning I went to journal and noticed a word that my friend Victoria had shared with me the day before. Endurance. That was it! My rhema word for the day. I began to look up scripture with that word and I found this:

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation." Romans 5:3

What the Lord showed me through this verse and some others is this:
Gods Strength=endurance=perseverance=stability

Wow! I knew exactly what to ask God for, His strength. Throughout the day I continued to trade in my lack for his strength. That night didn't end in a crawl across the finish line like I had expected it to, but I was running and full of joy and peace. He is so faithful to meet us exactly where we are. If my faith is lacking, he knows, and he will make up the difference.

This World...

I had a quick glimpse of the daily life of a non christian today. I was helping a friend move when the cops were called on us. long story short, I was almost punched in the face and was accused of stealing. Of course the police let us get the stuff she owned. We left unharmed. Praise God! After it ended I felt so sad that this is peoples normal life. These things happen everyday to people who don't know Jesus. I know that He was protecting me, but those not in His will aren't protected. With the crazy drama of today I don't know how people can live without the Lord. I am now committing to praying fervently for the women in my life that don't know Him. I want these women to know that Jesus loves them. That they are worth dignity and respect. There is nothing more important for me to do than pray.

Tomorrow Is Not a Promise...

The last couple days have been a bit of a blur to me. I received news on Monday that the grandma of the twins I babysit for was missing. Yesterday I got news that she had been murdered and buried in her own backyard. What devastating news. I can't explain my extreme sadness for this family that I am so very close to. Their grandma was a very young 55 years old.

As I have prayed for them in the last 48 hours I have found myself extremely grateful for those around me. The Lord reminded me tonight that tomorrow is not a promise. I think about my parents especially and this was the first time I realized that they won't be here forever. My loved ones could be gone tomorrow. Anything can happen. We all figure that we're going to live long prosperous lives, but where in the Bible does God say that? I feel this urgency to make sure that I let those around me know how much I love them. Tomorrow is not promised to us.

I am listening to a song by Carrie Underwood called "Temporary Home" and these are some of the lyrics...

"This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong.
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through.
This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going.
I'm not afraid because I know this is my
Temporary Home."

This home on earth is just temporary. We're just passing through. My home in heaven is eternal. Any day God could call me home just like he did Deborah Stone this past week. I'm not afraid because I know where I'm going...do you?

10/10/10

Sunday October 10th was my 24th birthday. It was the best birthday I've had since I was a kid. I had about 12 other women from church come to my place for a party. What a blast! We ate delicious food, sang karaoke, played pin the tail on the donkey and busted a pinata! Thank you to all my friends and family for the sweet birthday wishes, the great gifts and those who spent the day with me. I love you all:)

Favor

I started my math class today and I was super nervous. By the time class was over I knew that God had showed me his favor. I have the most laid back instructor who seems so willing to help and make sure you do well in the class. It was the only available class I could get into and of course God got me in the right one! Praise God!

God is good

The last few months have been extremely difficult. I can't even begin to explain all that's happened. But here I am. This past weekend our church had a womens retreat. I decided last minute to go even though I didn't want to. I had that sweet voice from the Lord saying "just go...I have something for you." of course all i thought about was how I didn't have money to go but I obeyed. What a weekend! I haven't been able to cry for about 3 months and starting Friday morning the tears began to flow. God was already releasing stuff from me before I even left for the retreat. I continued to cry all day and all night. Each woman that came up to me to ask how I was caused the tears to flow more. By the time worship began I couldn't control myself. I was on my face crying out to the Lord to take my pain. I realized that I don't need to say anything to the Lord sometimes. He just knows. He knew I needed a release from all the things I've gone through in the last few months. I just needed to be in his presence and give it up to him. By Saturday I had a smile back on my face and felt totally renewed. Our God is so good! He knows exactly what we need and when we need it. We just have to obey.

Yet another set back

I am so grateful that I am saved. These last few months have been harder than anything I've ever gone through. Only God could sustain me. I couldn't keep going on if it wasn't for His strength and power. I just found out today that I can't get onto my moms insurance until January because of a new law. I'm all signed up and ready to start school in less than two weeks but obviously God has another plan and knows more than I know. I was going to put in my two week notice at work tonight but praise God I haven't done that yet. I will continue to work night shift for 3 more months to keep my insurance(prayer please!)while I take a couple classes. Although I feel tired and defeated I find rest knowing that God knows the plan, even though I do not. He continues to remind me that he will not give me more than I can handle.

The last month...

School...work...car...wow life!

Wow life has been busy. I have been trying to get into classes for fall term...yes I'm going back to school! And God is sooo good. A week ago they told me I wouldn't get into anything I needed and as of today I have EVERY class I need...God wants me to start school for sure. I'm now waiting for a letter to find out what kind of financial aid I have...until then I'm still going to work my 32 hour night shift at the hospital. So after that all said I need prayer. I will be starting classes full time on Sept 27th while still working 3 to 4 nights a week. I know God is in control and he has a plan. He won't give me anything I cannot handle. So I already praise Him for what he has done and will continue to do!

introducing...

Kingsley!!! Isn't he cute ;)

A New Addition....

For the last month or so I have been searching craigslist for a puppy. Not really sure what I was getting myself into...a week and a half ago I brought home my new puppy Kingsley! He is a tan chihuaua and so stinkin cute. This has been the craziest thing I have ever done...but so worth it when someone is so excited every time you come home:) I will post pictures soon so you can all meet the new man in my life.

10 Fun Things

Lately I've had more tears than smiles. Keri suggested that I make a list of some fun things I can do instead of sitting around. So I'm posting them here so that you can keep me accountable and see if I have actually done them!

1. Ride my bike
2. Read in the sun
3. Swim
4. Watch a new movie with a friend
5. Find a yummy recipe
6. Make a meal
7. Go for a hike with friends
8. Fly a kite!
9. Do a craft
10. Plan my next trip to Spokane

Count Your Blessings

A very close friend of mine suggested since I was still awake to post something to my blog tonight. As I began to think about what to post I kept thinking back on my day. There were a lot of frustrations and things that just didn't go right. But I remembered the sermon from Sunday where Pastor Eric said to take every thought captive and say out loud "I'm Blessed."

The Lord gave me the words "count your blessings" so I chose to google it:) This is what I found...

Count your blessings instead of your crosses;
Count your gains instead of your losses.

Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes.

Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears.

Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.

Count your health instead of your wealth;
Love your neighbor as much as yourself.

So to get myself out of the rut from today I'm going to proclaim my blessings!!!

I am blessed with...
amazing friends who love the Lord and love me
parents who support me through every up and down
a job where I get to see blessings and miracles
my sister who daily sends me sweet messages
grandparents who continually pray for me
a church family who's always there
a body that can run jump sing and dance

Proclaim your blessings today...it might just change your attitude!

God answeres prayer!

Quick story...I went for a quick walk and decided to leave my phone and just grab the ipod and spare set of keys. When I came back I realized that the spare house key was actually with my spare car key that I gave to Heidi a few days ago. Awesome! I was locked out and had no phone to call for help. Well, Derek lives in the same apt places so I knocked on his door for half hour...obviously he was sleeping. So what did I choose to do? PRAY! I went back to my place to sit and cry when some guys walked by going to the pool. I asked if they had an after hours number for the apt place...they didn't but they were willing to climb to the second story of my place to get into my bedroom window...without knocking down my air conditioner! WOOHOO...God sure answers prayers...even the desperate "I need you now" ones. So blessed!

Thankful...

Last night God gave me an amazing opportunity to pray over a tiny preemie. Each night that I go to work I never know what I'm going to come across or who's life the Lord might give me the opportunity to bless. Each baby that I get to hold I always pray over. Whether it's changing a diaper or getting to hold them for hours, I always take the time to pray while touching them. Last night I floated to the NICU. A baby was admitted who was going through drug withdraws. She was screaming in pain. I was asked to just sit and hold her for the last three hours of my shift. At first I felt like I didn't have the training or tools to take care of this baby. I wrapped her in warm blankets and began rocking her. After attempting to feed her and her vomiting I began praying. The Lord began to give me worship songs to sing over her. It worked! She slept for two hours in my arms while I prayed and sang over her. I'm so grateful that the Lord trusted me and sent me to console that tiny baby girl. He speaks through the smallest little lives sometimes. Our God is so good!